The Only Girl

I was inspired to write this due to the day I had with my only girl .  She is almost 10 and I have felt for a while that she has just not been happy.  She seems to just muddle through the day arguing with her little brother, taking meanness from her baby brother and trying to fit in with her older brother who is 12.

It has not been working for her.  It has been troubling me but I just couldn’t put my finger on it.  I had a Woman’s Retreat this weekend where I was spiritually fed, hence the break through… I am sure!

I do also have to give Kudos to my husband who mentioned before I left for the retreat that our daughter needed some special responsibility of her own.  He was so right!

She is a little Mama all the way.  She wants to be in charge, the one who is right…  I find her using a ‘not so nice’ parent tone often.  So after my husband planting the seed, and me being filled with spiritual food and rest, it became clear.

I told her yesterday that I would like her to help me micro-manage the household.  Now usually I am trying to do this task, which I don’t do very well… thanks to my busy, busy toddler.

I usually expect my oldest boy to do his chores properly.The other 2 I know it won’t be good and it just spirals into a frustrated Mom and half done kid chores.  Which also means the house never gets to a tidy place, hence me more frustrated then before.

Moving on to my point… she is very forgetful and distracted when doing her chores… like her mother.  So I am giving her 2-4 weeks depending on her progress to get better at her chores so she can take the responsibility of micro-managing them.

She can’t be in charge of this task if she can’t do her own chores properly, right?  She was ecstatic!  She had no problem with the grace period and can’t wait for the responsibility that she is long over due for.

In my defense I have 3 boys.  I have a 6 year old very passionate boy, who gets misunderstood with his humor, is a bit forgetful… and only likes to sit still, never.  He has the biggest heart and just wants to please people he loves.  Now the toddler, a boy, is very smart, bull headed, and cute… a very frustrating combination in my opinion.

My oldest is awesome, he is God sent.  He does what he is told, he tries to please his mom and dad the best he can.  He has read through his bible at least 2 times, maybe 3.  He has knowledge of the word that only comes from reading it so much.

He has been through so much junk with my husband and I, and yet the Lord has made him so good.  In saying that my poor girl feels like she has to live up to that.  The funny thing is, is that when they were much younger she was little miss princess and her older brother had to make sure he treated her just like one.  I guess she doesn’t remember, or maybe that is why she feels lost now.

Anyway, because of the retreat this weekend I have had a hunger to be in the word (yeah!) which I believe gave me this epiphany.  I need to start letting her help me with things that she should be learning as a girl.  A girl who will one day be a young woman, and some day a wife, a mother and a  keeper of the home.

So today instead of using my oldest son, who is just like a robot and does what ever it is I ask of him (plus he is strong enough to move furniture and stuff), I asked her to help me.  I am reorganizing our homeschool/my office area.  It was much needed, and I have not had use of my desk for a while.

She was delighted.  I used the time to teach her how to move furniture around, and how helpful the tape measure is, for less work.  We talked, laughed, and dusted.  I could see the gleam in her eye, she had a purpose like her Mom has a purpose.

I also had to go to church to practice some songs for worship today.  I decided to bring the little one so hubby could continue to work.  I usually bring my oldest to watch him because it works well.  Today I thought she needed the responsibility.

Usually with the baby she just makes things worse, because she so loves being in charge that she drives the smart toddler crazy.  So this time I gave her the task and gently told her to let him know you are there… but not to make him play, or make him sit, or make him eat.  Let him feel like he has some freedom and you are there to help him, and play with him.

She did a fantastic job.  It was about 2 hours all together, and it went very well.  I was able to get details on worship songs worked out, and that was my purpose for going.  So she succeeded!  She also got thanked and praised by the worship leader as well.

I am both happy and sad.  I am so happy for her to finally feel like she is needed and appreciated.  I am sad because it took a long time for me to see it, and apply what I realized the right way.

So here is just another awesome reason why God’s Word, the Bible helps so much in our lives, personally!  Praise Him for all He does for us, and all He wants for us… and our children!

HE IS WORTHY TO BE PRAISED!